you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
