You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
