You're completely useless in the revolution.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
