Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
