what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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