butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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