So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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