Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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