Cold hands, warm shart.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
