Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I love how my cats smell like pot.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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