I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
wow bdsm is so cute
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
