Are we in a gay sports bar?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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