I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.