I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30