Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.