you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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