so explain again why im purple
no
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
