remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
