its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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