she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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