I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she pinky promised me she was 18
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
