a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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