Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
