Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
