oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
