so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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