So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
