I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
