Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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