you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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