Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
