i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
