I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
