He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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