He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Randomize
