when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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