No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
