I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
