she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
