Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
