I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.