Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.