My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
