i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
