i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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