my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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