Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
