I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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