a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
