Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
