New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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