How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
vagina is talking i cant
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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