dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
