Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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