Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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