she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
