After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
