oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize