the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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