Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
