can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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