If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Someone came in the potted fern
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
