girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
