I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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