you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
