So drunk its hurt
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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