So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
