Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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