chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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