On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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