I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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