we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
