FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
