I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
