Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
