If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Randomize
