i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize