hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need moral support for this bender
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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